defeat

I want to take some time to work out why defeat is so devastating to our psyche and what we can do to overcome it's grip on our lives. Defeat, even in small doses can send a person reeling, setting-back months or years of progress. Perhaps, it's a lot easier to dwell on failure than to revel in victory. Victory is short-lived, but defeat is faithful to be there for the long-haul. While others may come along side to celebrate our victories, defeat is usually something we deal with alone. It is a personal struggle that we are left to sort out in the quietness of our own hearts. Guilt and shame are bedfellows with failure. More often than not, nights are spent tossing and turning, mulling over the day's shortcomings, misspeaks and embarrassments. A harsh word to a friend or a missed opportunity can make us focus on all of our own shortcomings rather than that which is praiseworthy. Another mistake is comparing our failures against the supposed accomplishments of others. Doing so will leave us feeling inadequate and impotent.

So how do we shun this defeatist attitude? How can we avoid surrendering to feelings of failure and regret? Can we walk free of the shroud of guilt and disappointment? Looking to others rather than looking at others maybe the catalyst towards change and freedom.

Think of Paul's instruction in Galations 6:1-5 (NCV) "Brothers and sisters, if someone in your group does something wrong, you who are spiritual should go to that person and gently help make him right again. But be careful, because you might be tempted to sin, too. By helping each other with your troubles, you truly obey the law of Christ. If anyone thinks he is important when he really is not, he is only fooling himself. Each person should judge his own actions and not compare himself with others. Then he can be proud for what he himself has done. Each person must be responsible for himself."

Whether we take the first step help another or we are approached by a concerned friend, allowing ourselves to be honest with one another, will give way to a sense of freedom. Sharing our deep-seated fears, feelings of guilt and shame with a dear friend can release the grip defeat has on our hearts. Bringing to light that which has been held captive in the cavernous depth of our hearts will banish the darkness which clouds our judgement and self-assessment.

1 Thessalonians 5 is a great reading, giving us an example of how to live and interact with one another. Encouragement and edification are gifts we can freely give to one another. Why hold back giving to others that which we so desire for ourselves? Why is it difficult to receive and accept encouragement when it is given? It is because we feel unworthy of the gift?

What then shall we do?
Let us share each others burden, carrying the load together.
Let us give freely the gift of encouragement and edification to one another.
Let us accept and embrace the same when given to us.